Posted on 08 Dec, 2010 -
Astonishing People
In praise of the bravery of human beings. We are, every single one of us, astonishing individuals.
How our ‘Me Me Me’ culture is slowly wising up and getting kinder
8 ways of joining in the revolution for kindness
Dear Reader,
I came across a line in a book today that said:
“We are continually living a solution of problems that reflection cannot hope to solve.” by an author called Van den Berg
I haven’t got a clue what it actually means either but it did get me thinking.
There are 6,882,111,470 of us human beings living on this planet and every single one of us is individually astonishing.
Not one of us has an easy life. Not one of us doesn’t live almost constantly with some kind of stress or trouble. But we all carry on.
And we don’t just carry on. We carry on so beautifully. So bravely. So astonishingly uniquely.
Everything we do we have decided to do ourselves. Even the worst at coping among us do an amazing job of coping, at keeping themselves alive.
Next time you’re at work or in a supermarket or on the street, take a good look at all the people around you and think about what each person has struggled through to get to this point in the day. We all of us deserve more love and applause than we ever get…
A new wave of love and empathy in the 21st Century
It would seem, in fact, that love of others and empathy are having a bit of a comeback. In Psychologies magazine this month, founder of the Outrospection movement (outrospection.org), Roman Krznaric says:
”The pursuit of self-interest in the last century failed to bring personal fulfillment, so people in the West are looking for an alternative.”
“I believe the twenty-first century should be the age of outrospection, where we discover ourselves not be navel-gazing, but by stepping outside ourselves and learning about the lives of other people.”
To find ourselves by looking outwards rather than inwards is an enticing idea but one I know I for one am going to have to work on. Looking outwards brings many rewards both for ourselves, for others and for society as a whole.
In the words of novelist Ian McEwan, ”Imagining what it is like to be someone other than yourself is at the core of our humanity. It is the essence of compassion, and it is the beginning of morality.”
Wearing somebody else’s shoes
We can start our journey of ‘outrospection’, apparently, by thinking of some of the people we see around us - whether it’s a stranger we pass, a person on the telly, or the woman from accounts we’ve never liked - and imagine what it might be like to be that person.
We can also work harder at really getting to know people we talk to regularly. To really listen to what they say. And ask them questions. We can also make a habit of talking to strangers and empathising with them.
The many benefits of being kind
Talking to and thinking about a wide range of people will expand our minds and increase our appreciation of the world around us. Empathising with others is also a great way of reducing our own sense of vulnerability, shyness and lack of confidence.
Helping others also gives you a high. In their book, ‘Healthy Pleasures’, psychologists Robert Ornstein and Dr David Sobel say that when we help others it gives us a warm, calm yet energised feeling of happiness.
Studies show that children who are more kind and friendly to others do better at school, have a positive view of school and have higher self esteem.
Being kind is also good for your health - strengthening the immune system as well as the cardiovascular system.
8 ways to join in the ‘new’ empathy renewal…
All sounds good! I know many of you are already doing a lot of this, but here’s some more ideas I’ve found about how to practise the pleasures of kindness and empathy:
Next time you feel cross with somebody, trying putting yourself in their shoes and try to understand a little more about their internal world and where they are coming from. You will benefit from the insight and so will your relationship.
Think of people whose views or culture you have problems with and spend some thought trying to understand their point of view even if you don’t agree with it.
Go out of your way to make other people feel good about themselves. Thank somebody close to you for all they do for you. Give somebody a tiny treat - just for being who they are. Another great idea I found on the one of the websites was to send thank you cards to people like cleaners at the local school or bus drivers working late hours.
Generosity is a great way of both spreading love and kindness and getting one of those kindness ‘highs’. You can give gifts or money to those or to charities that need it. Or you can offer to do things for other people such as babysit for parents with small kids or do somebody else’s shopping in the snow.
Do things for your local community. Donate used books to a local library or clean up graffiti or plant plants in a rundown area.
Also think about practicing kindness towards the environment. Campaign to preserve local nature. Reduce pollution and make contact with others by sharing lifts to work…
Give ‘carepacks’ to homeless people living on the streets. As well as food and treats, think of things like toothbrushes, toothpaste and shampoo that may be appreciated.
Leave a generous tip to make somebody’s day. Next time you’re in a restaurant or cafe, leave a larger tip than you would normally. It may make the waiter or waitress’s day - and it could make yours too!
Best wishes to you all
