Posted on 30 Jun, 2011 -
Confessions of a selfish, lazy and greedy writer
7 weaknesses that I have spotted in myself today
22 things you can do to spread more happiness in the world
Why picking up litter can make you a better person
Dear Reader,
I am aware that I have a number of weaknesses as a person (as well as strengths, of course...). And perhaps one of my greatest weaknesses of all (I sometimes feel) is to obsess too much about my own happiness.
I am always worried about whether or not I am happy. Always thinking about how any event or change of situation will affect me. Always wondering how I can arrange things to maximise my own gain and happiness.
Although you mustn’t get me wrong. I am not a monster. I love my children and husband, devote most of my life to them and am constantly thinking about their happiness too. I also, as you know, have a mission to spread info about psychology and life and happiness to others through these Life is a Bag of Revels emails. (Weakness No. 2: Taking myself too seriously.)
But is that enough?
And is it not probably true that if I spent just a little more time thinking about how I can spread more happiness on a day-to-day, physical level… instead of spending too much time obsessing about my current mood or own personal dilemmas… then… well… I’d probably actually be happier for it!
An organisation set up to promote greater selflessness and happiness…
To help me in my mission this week I have enlisted the help (OK, maybe just some words off a website) of an organisation called Action for Happiness. (Weakness No. 3: Natural tendency to exaggerate.)
According to their website:
“Action for Happiness is a movement of people committed to building a happier society. We want to see a fundamentally different way of life where people care less about what they can get for themselves and more about the happiness of others.”…
Because more wealth has only lead to more anxiety, depression and social problems
“For fifty years we’ve aimed relentlessly at higher incomes. But despite being much wealthier, we’re no happier than we were five decades ago. At the same time we’ve seen an increase in wider social issues, including a worrying rise in anxiety and depression in young people. It’s time for a positive change in what we mean by progress.”
You can find out a whole lot more about what they do and how they believe we can change the world at their website http://www.actionforhappiness.
In the meantime, here are some of the most interesting and practical ideas I gleaned about some of the 12 different ‘actions’ they recommend to help you achieve the mission:
The first ACTION you can take to join the movement and start helping to create more happiness in the world around you is to take the happiness pledge: “I will try to create more happiness and less unhappiness in the world around me” (Which you can do at their website, or if you’re as non-committal and half-soaked as me, just in your head… Weakness No. 4))
Action 2 is to DO kind things for others
“Recent research into brain functioning has confirmed that we are hard-wired for love and compassion.” Our desire to get success and wealth and happiness for ourselves is only half the picture. We DO have a natural built-in drive to be kind and do good things in the community and world as well.
“Research shows that we may benefit from giving support more than those receiving it - and we’re also more likely to get support in return when we need it.” (Damn! This is supposed to be about me being LESS selfish! Weaknesses No.5 and 6: greedy and insatiable.)
So what exactly can we do? On their website they have a list of 40 kind things you can do, my personal favourites of which were these:
1. Give up your seat
2. Hold a door open for someone
3. Give a (sincere) compliment
4. Take time to really listen to someone
5. Make someone new feel welcome
6. Have a conversation with a stranger
7. Pick up litter as you walk
8. Tell someone they mean a lot to you
9. Let someone have your parking spot
10. Offer your change to someone struggling to find the right amount
11. Buy cakes or fruit for your colleagues
12. Invite your neighbour round for a drink and a chat
13. Tell someone if you notice they’re doing a good job
14. Forgive someone for what they’ve done
15. Buy an unexpected gift for someone
16. Pay for someone in the queue behind
17. Offer to look after a friend’s children
18. Offer to mow your neighbour’s lawn
19. Give food to a homeless person and take time to talk with them
20. Visit someone who may be lonely
21. Get back in contact with someone you’ve lost touch with
22. Organise a fundraising event
Action 4. Find three good things in each day
What this ‘action’ is about is the fact that if we all looked around us and felt gratitude for all the things that are great in our life, in life and in the world around us - instead of fixating on the negative as if our life depended on it - then the whole of society would instantly be twice as happy as it is.
And finally (Weakness No. 7: tendency to overwrite.)
Action 6 - Look for the good in those around you
Evolution, apparently, has caused us to be naturally on the look out for what is wrong rather than right.
Personally I reckon that most of us are already pretty good at seeing the good in those around us. How else would we be able to put up with all these faults and weaknesses in each other otherwise…
But a little extra conscious effort on this wouldn’t go amiss!
Right, I’m off now to pick up some litter and hold open a few doors.
Best wishes for a great weekend
