Posted on 27 May, 2009 -
Exploring the Peaks and Valleys of Life
How to successfully navigate the ups and downs or ‘peaks and valleys’ of life
Get out of the bad times faster and stay in the good times longer
Have more peaks and fewer valleys!
One of the strongest and most cherished moments of shared memory I have with my sister happened one evening at home when we were watching the television programme, It’ll Be Alright On the Night.
I know it should be something at least natural or romantic like burying a bird in a shoe box, teaching her to tie her shoelaces or flying a homemade kite in the meadow. But the thing about this was that it was SO FUNNY.
The clip was of a news reporter interviewing casualties during some war or after a terrorist bomb attack or something. This one poor injured person in particular has an enormous bandage covering most of their head and is dutifully replying to the interviewers serious and concerned questions. Then, at the end of the clip, the reporter looks up frankly at the poor victim and says “So where were you injured?”
You probably had to be there but my sister and I laughed so hard and for so long that we both fell off the sofa.
But I am getting carried away. The point that I was trying to make (other than the desire to rekindle a cherished memory) was that the answer to this question was bleeding obvious.
The message I have for you today is also in its own way stating the bleeding obvious. I suspect that on an other hand, however, something from this message might stay in your mind like the memory I shared with my sister of that joyous mutual laughter on the sofa…
So how do you get more and longer peaks - less and shorter valleys?
So what am I going on about? Well, one of the books I have been reading this week is called Peaks and Valleys by Spencer Johnson - the same author who wrote Who Moved My Cheese? (By the way, if anybody has read that one, can they tell me who moved it?)
The Peaks and Valleys he’s talking about are, of course, the way in which we all get good times and bad times. Good times when everything seems to be going right, we feel good about ourselves and good at what we’re doing. Bad times when everything seems to be going wrong and we want to turn inside out at the mere thought that we ever even dared entertain the idea that we might just be a tiny bit special.
One particularly obvious but yet also reassuring point in the book is that it is natural for all human beings to have peaks and valleys in both their work and life. What this book aims to help you do, however, is to prolong how long you spend in your good times (peaks) and shorten the time you spend in the bad times (valleys).
So how do you do that? Here’s a few ideas for you:
* We all get good times and bad times, peaks and valleys. One important key to changing your reaction to this for the better is to learn to separate what happens to you from how good and valuable you feel as a person. The fact that you’ve been made redundant, for example, doesn’t mean you’re a useless piece of nothing. The important thing is to look at the FACTS not let your imagination run wild and smash your ego into a thousand sniveling pieces.
* The errors you make in today’s good times create tomorrow’s bad times. And the wise things you do in today’s bad times create tomorrow’s good times.
* One error many people make during their good times, for example, is to get complacent and even a bit self-satisfied or arrogant. Individuals or companies tend to overspend. We take things or people for granted. We rest on our laurels and feel that because we are great we will be great forever.
* It’s easy to see, therefore, how we can create our valleys because of the way we view our peaks or the faults we make during them.
* We can make our peaks last longer by doing more of what helped us get there in the first place. It also helps to be slightly more humble and grateful when we’re on a peak. Be somebody who wants to create excellence in their lives and work without being arrogant about it. And remember that you can actually make your peaks lasts longer by remembering that valleys are always potentially just around the corner.
* Valleys are times when you long for what is missing. We can create or prolong valleys by focusing too much on what we don’t have/what is missing - than on what we do have. An Olympic silver medal winner, for example, can throw himself into a valley by wishing he had won the gold.
* To get out of a valley quicker, try to find the positive in the situation. This could, for example, be a time to realise what you did that got you into the valley and correct your behavior for the future. It may mean finding the good that is hidden in the bad. Building on strengths you do have. Or doing more again of what you did to get into the last peak.
Three crucial keys to help you raise yourself out of bad times
* When you’re going through a bad time, the first thing is to remember that this is just that: a valley. Another peak will be coming your way soon.
* To get yourself to the next peak faster, pay attention to your over-sensitive ego again. While the ego can sometimes be responsible for making you fall into a valley by being too arrogant on a peak, it can also keep you in a valley by being over-stricken by lack of self belief and fear. You are not your peaks and valleys. These are things that happen to you that you can observe and make the most of if you choose.
* Instead of allowing yourself to react to the situation emotionally, ask yourself the question “What is the TRUTH here?” Sometimes the pain in a valley can wake you up to a truth you have been ignoring. At other times the truth may be that things are not as desperate as they seem and that there is a way out.
* To get to the next peak, focus on where you want to go or what you want to change. Imagine yourself doing in detail what you need to do to get there. Instead of wallowing or wishing… start ACTING.
* Often we create a fearful vision of our future that prevents us from getting out of the valley. Create a rational, sensible vision instead and you will soon be on your way out. Be prepared for some difficulty in getting to where you want to go but understand that you will get there if you work hard and persevere.
* Make the current reality your friend rather than wishing things were different.
And most important of all? Don’t take life too seriously. Try to see the funny side to life - especially when you’re suffering. And don’t forget to laugh on the sofa…
