Posted on 22 Dec, 2010 -
Have YOU been good this year
Wishing You a Very Merry Christmas!
Dear Reader,
What is special for me at this time of year is that lovely feeling of joy, excitement and warm relief as the Christmas spirit finally begins to rise in me.
As American author Joan Winmill Brown so nicely put it:
“Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given - when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.”
For weeks I have been thinking ‘Oh I suppose it will be alright’ and grumbling that everything starts so early. Then all of a sudden I’m donning twinkling reindeer horns, cooing at Christmas lights and making the kids wonder if they shouldn’t ring Dad at work and tell him “Mum’s finally gone crazy”.
Christmas, of course, is most amazing for children. As Larry Wilde said in The Merry Book of Christmas:
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”
But I see no reason why adults shouldn’t enjoy it too. In fact, here’s a joke for you:
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Don’t forget to indulge yourself. You deserve a reward for good behavior too!
Remember that you too have been very good this year and don’t forget to give yourself a treat. It is a time for indulgence and for enjoying some well-earned rewards for all our hard work and effort.
So what will your indulgences be?
I always remember a friend telling me that every Christmas morning she and her mother would have porridge made with cream and I love that kind of indulgence.
Champagne and bacon for breakfast… chocolate liquors before lunch… wearing a silly hat… falling asleep in front of Mary Poppins…
May the pleasures never cease!
And now here’s a poem for all the parents out there…
For all the nights you stayed up late
to trim the Christmas tree,
For all the costly presents
That you purchased just for me…
For all the times you tucked me in
And read me stories too,
For all the ways you cheered me up
When I was feeling blue…
For all the cookies that you baked
And stockings that you stuffed,
For all the messes you cleaned up
And pillows that you fluffed…
For all the days you loved me,
Even when I made it hard,
For all these things,
and much,much more…
Here’s a Christmas card!
And a slightly disturbing but funny one for the 21st Century age…
A Microsoft Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa’s mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To -
Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa’s workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.
All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that’s just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums (ahem - pardon me)
No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
“Now, ADOBE! Now, CLARIS! Now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,
It is Microsoft’s SANTA that the kids can’t resist,
It’s the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.
Get ‘em young, keep ‘em long, is Microsoft’s scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer’s dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!”
And Mama in her ‘kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
Have a Microsoft Christmas, and to all a good night.
Best wishes and a Very Merry Christmas
