Posted on 13 Oct, 2010 -
If Life Were a Board game…
Why survivors of the Hudson river plane crash now feel so much more positive about their lives
5 tips for surviving life as if it were a plane crash!
If life were a board game, which square would you be about to land on?
Dear Reader,
“Life’s funny like that.” I said to my husband as we got ready for another well-deserved sleep after a long, challenging day - just seven hours before yet another long and exhausting day was coming our way.
“Funny how?”
“Well, on one hand, each minute of each day is such a miracle. That we are alive. That we breathe. That there are mushrooms growing on the ground. And frogs. And such nice food to eat each day and warm beds to go to. Even the rain is beautiful if you stop to look at it.”
“Hmm.”
“But on the other hand, each day can feel like a herculean act of survival.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And then in a couple of weeks time we’ll barely even remember these days at all and will moan that another month has passed and we hardly remember it at all.”
“[silence]”
Life feels very different after you’ve stood on the wing of a floating airplane…
Apart from boring my husband as he’s trying to fall asleep, another thing I seem to be doing a lot of this week is reading about disasters. You know, those awful things that happen to other people.
One in particular was the plane that crashed into the icy Hudson river back in 2009 when, for the first time in history, all passengers - all 150 of them - survived.
There’s a new book out on it by a psychologist called Dorothy Firman and I’ve also been reading some old articles.
As you might imagine, the people who miraculously survived the crash have gained enormous amounts of life wisdom from the experience.
Many, for example, say that they have a much more positive outlook and that life’s small frustrations and disappointments now seem more trivial. One of them, for example, has hung a photo of the plane after it had crashed on the river on the wall in his office. Underneath the picture he has written ‘perspective’.
More powerful perhaps still, the survivors have stayed in touch, have supported each other and hold reunions that they called ‘celebrate life parties’ because they were so elated to have a second chance at life.
Many reported, in fact, that far from being traumatised by the experience, it made them feel amazing.
“After the crash there was a little bit of invincibility,” said one. “A feeling I could do anything, I could walk in front of a bus. I survived a plane crash. On water. How many people can say that?”
Another said it made his self-confidence soar: “What I took away from it was that I’d better be more confident, I’d better go after what I wanted, as tomorrow may not be here.”
6 tips for surviving a disaster that might also come in handy for life…
The book by the psychologist was supposed to be about the actions and traits it takes to be a survivor in such situations but (and now we’re finally getting back to my theme at the beginning here) a lot of our life can often feel like an act of survival.
So what exactly is it that we need to survive even better? Here are a few of the tips from the book:
Approach each day with a calm sense of preparedness. Make yourself stronger by preparing yourself for what lies ahead. Realise that you have past experiences and inner resources that will enable you to keep calm, be ready, and do the right thing.
Continually assess and reassess your options. When facing difficulties, it’s important to make a strong survival plan. You should not, however, remain so wedded to this plan that you are unable to reevaluate your strategy when new things come to light. When we are under stress we are often prone to one track thinking. Next time you feel yourself under stress, take some time to calmly reassess your options and assess whether the plan of action you’re currently following is the right one.
Keep yourself motivated by thinking about those you love and the things in life that motivate you. In an emergency, says Dr Firman, take time to think about how much your loved ones need you and all the life goals that you have not yet accomplished. This can make the difference, she says, between freezing up or surviving and having another chance at life…
It will also keep you FOCUSED.
Help others - and become stronger yourself. People who help others in an emergency become stronger because they feel like a doer, not a victim. When we help others, we increase our own strength and chances of survival.
Talk to others about what you’re going through - and allow yourself to cry. If you have survived a disaster, says the plane crash psychologist, then you need to be able to express your feelings about it.
If life is half about surviving our own personal series of mini disasters too then I’d say exactly the same applies. So yes, even if they are half asleep when you say it, find somebody to talk to about how you feel - however personal or odd your emotions and reactions to your life might seem.
The mother of one of the passengers, for example, tells how her daughter initially lost her outgoing, happy personality after the crash. It was only after she finally talked through her experiences and allowed herself to cry that she began to feel better again.
Make friends with fellow ‘disaster’ sufferers. Survivors of disasters often make very close bonds with fellow survivors because it is only with them that they can feel complete understanding.
This would obviously explain why I enjoyed spending so much time with fellow first-time mothers after my first child was born. It is also why so many people find it really helpful to join groups of people in the same situation as them - or suffering similar problems.
Best wishes for energised survival and renewal
