Posted on 28 Jul, 2011 -
Men In the Road Fix Bad Habit Problem
How an encounter with some work men gave me a new idea about how to kick bad habits for good
Finding out what your own ‘hidden’ habits of behaviour are
A wonderful email I’ve received from a reader about how creating a new habit has transformed her life
Dear Reader,
Every day, after dropping the kids off at school, I walk home up the same hill, crossing it at the bottom so that I am on the right side for my home when I reach the top.
This morning, when I was halfway up, I had to cross back over to the other side of the road, because some workmen were digging up the pavement.
Since then, I have had to do the same trip a further three times - to drop off a swimming hat, to buy some eggs for my lunch, and when collecting the kids after school. And each time, due to the force of habit, I have crossed the road at the bottom of the hill only to have to cross back over halfway up.
Thus is the power of habits. And I know I’ve talked about them before but I will talk about them again.
Why? Because they are so instrumental in shaping the lives that we lead.
How habits are fundamental to shaping the life you will lead
From our choice of breakfast in the morning… to our attitude to work… From the way we wear our hair… to our opinion about what we are likely to be doing in six month’s time… almost every decision we make, every thought we have, every action we take… is determined by habit.
Many of our habits, of course, are good or at least perfectly satisfactory. Most of us are aware, however, that there are habits of thinking or acting (or eating, smoking, not exercising, forgetting, worrying, messing up or...) that do have a less than perfect effect on our lives.
Now, the thought that struck me from my experience today was that an obstacle on the path of my habit forced me to change it for the day.
Furthermore, I realised, if the nice men mending the old brick pavement were to stay there for at least another week, it is quite possible that the obstacle in the path of my old habit will have trained me into forming a new one.
Creating obstacles to stop bad habits in their tracks
Of course, I’m not suggesting that you employ a team of workmen to stand between you and the biscuit barrel, erect their hole in the entrance to your favourite local shop… or stand around your home with banners reading ‘don’t think so negatively’…
... but I’m sure you can see my point about how an obstacle standing in the path of any habit might be useful.
You will obviously be able to use your own imagination when it comes to thinking up your own obstacles. But a few come to mind:
To stop yourself from eating a packet of cakes, pop a piece of chewing gum in your mouth and/or go for a walk.
If your habit is being shy, put yourself in situations where you have no choice but to talk to people.
If you are addicted to television, take the plug off - or have other activities prepared ahead that you need to do instead.
If the meals you eat are too big, go out and buy smaller plates.
If you spend too much money, ban yourself from making any payments in shops with a debit card. From now on it’s cash only. Better still, cut up the debit card so you can no longer use it and only get cash out from the bank.
If you have a habit of nagging, put up ‘stop nagging’ signs where you can see them.
If you have the habit of shying away from big opportunities that might have been great for you, set yourself the challenge that you must try to say ‘yes’ to every opportunity that’s offered you.
If you have the habit of being over-critical, set yourself the task of offering everybody praise.
If you bite your nails, paint that stuff that tastes horrible onto them until you stop.
Finding out what your ‘hidden’ habits of behaviour are
We do not, of course, always know what our own (bad) habits are. If you’re feeling brave, try asking somebody close to you what they think some of your habits are. If you have the right relationship, you could even try asking your boss…
Change your life by developing really good habits instead
And finally, I wanted to tell you about an amazing email I received from a reader who kicked a lifetime habit of worrying and became a positive and HAPPY person instead.
So what has she done that means she wakes up each day “full of joy and happy”?
She has trained herself to be grateful each day for the good things and to count her blessings.
Gradually, she says, by doing this, she began to like herself more and to appreciate the miracle that each and every one of us is.
Amazingly, not only has this transformed her emotional life. She has also seen a huge improvement in her eyesight and has lost weight and come down to a size 12. Smaller than she has ever been in her life after a life of struggling.
The happier you tell yourself that you are, she says, the happier you will become.
Thank you so much for writing in and sharing that with us!
Best wishes
