Posted on 03 Feb, 2011 -
My kingdom for a sense of purpose
To feel that one is fulfilled.
To be filled with a sense of purpose.
What greater wealth could one ask for than this?
Dear Reader,
This week I have been thinking about the ideas of ‘fulfillment’ and ‘having a sense of purpose’.
There are times in our lives, of course, when we feel more fulfilled than others. Times when we feel lacking in purpose, times when we feel in the swing. And even times when we feel either so in or out of the swing that these aren’t even things we think about.
One thing that has surprised me in a lot of what I’ve been reading on the subject is that the two things are often seen as pretty much the same thing. And I guess that to an extent I see them as different. While they are both part of the same central human cry for a meaning to life… for purpose… for me there are two elements:
1. Feeling that we have been or are being of use to the world. That we are somehow just a little bit important. (Purpose)
2. Feeling that we are enjoying life. That we are doing what we want to do. (Fulfillment)
Both, of course, are equally important and I can see how the two should ideally be connected. I believe, however, that it’s not always easy for us to see clearly our own use and importance in the world. I also believe that many of us have some reservation in believing that we have the right to pursue the second (and certainly not before we have put in a twelve hour day or worked like dogs until we’re 65...).
Is it not, however, sometimes when we are pursuing the second that we often end up giving the most to the world and the people around us?
Not only might we do our best work when we are enjoying ourselves or pursuing an activity that fulfills us… Fulfilled people are also good to have around and therefore better for the world…
In fact, if we see ourselves as part of the world instead of as an isolated person, it actually makes the idea of pursuing pleasure or fulfillment a less selfish act!
We all have value - and therefore purpose
When I look around at the world around me, I am immensely grateful to all the roles that other people play or have played. For the nurses, for the teachers, for the person at the checkout at the supermarket and the farmer who grows my vegetables… just for starters. But work isn’t everything and we cannot all be lucky enough to have a job that is fulfilling for ourselves.
When we take a good look at our relationships with others we realise how appreciative we are of their other gifts and talents - and of the sheer fact of having them around. There are some people I appreciate, for example, for their generosity of spirit and concern for others. Some for their intelligence, for their curiosity, or for their wonderful piano playing. Others for their sense of fun - or for their rebellious spirit.
I am also grateful for the crucial roles that the members in my extended family play in mine and my children’s lives.
Claiming our right to a sense of fulfillment
So if it is true that we all have our value in the world, have we also earned, perhaps, the right to try and feel personally fulfilled? Indeed, accepting that just being ourselves is useful and appreciated by others can give us a greater sense of fulfillment itself.
And it’s not even that there was such a duty to be paid anyway. After all, we didn’t ask to be put in this world! It’s not really that we owe our lives. Some would even say that you should see your life as a gift - and the very best form of gratitude is to enjoy it. To live your life well. To cherish it. To be fulfilled by it.
Trying harder to make sure we’re fulfilled
So would you say that you are actively pursuing fulfillment today? Are you aware of a sense of purpose?
In one book I was reading I found these two questions very useful:
What makes you feel good?
What gives you a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment?
Our sense of purpose or fulfillment will, of course, change as we age. Which is why transition stages in life - such as retirement, the kids going to school or an empty nest - can be tricky as you re-adjust or need to re-assess or find your new sense of purpose.
You might also appreciate these pearls of wisdom:
“Nothing else matters much—not wealth, nor learning, nor even health—without this gift: the spiritual capacity to keep zest in living. This is the creed of creeds, the final deposit and distillation of all important faiths: that you should be able to believe in life.”
Harry Emerson Fosdick
“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”
William James
“A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking questions he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes
“You are unique, and if that is not fulfilled, then something has been lost.”
Martha Graham
Another way of looking at it, of course, is that to be fulfilled is to have fulfilled your dreams. To have a sense of purpose you need to have desired one in the first place.
Best wishes
