Posted on 02 Jun, 2011 -
Never drink from a straw
19 things that you should never do, say, drink or forget including...
Never say never. Never send an angry email. Never let’em see you sweat…
And never drink a Starbuck’s Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended crème with whipped cream
Dear Reader,
My inbox is so full these days that it takes a good subject line (or a certain kind of person) to compel me to open any particular email before the others. But the one I received with the subject line ‘Never drink from a straw’ certainly did the trick!
The reason for ‘never’ drinking from a straw, unfortunately, is a little bit of an anti-climax: Drinking through a straw (along with fizzy drinks, chewing gum, eating too fast and anxious breathing) can cause you to be windy because it makes you swallow air.
But the idea did get me thinking: Instead of writing about things we should do… maybe I should come from the angle of things that we shouldn’t for a change?
So yes, I’ve spent a few hours researching, poaching and mulling this one over this week and here are some of the best NEVER ideas I’ve found for us:
Never say never as in ‘I will never find a partner’, ‘I’ll never be happy’ or ‘I’ll never find another job’ etc. Instead, remind yourself to always remain open and flexible about what changes the future may bring. Chances are that when you say ‘never’ like this, there is something about the way you think or act that is actually preventing that thing from happening. Tell yourself the truth. What do you do that stops this thing from happening? What is that you think that will never allow this thing to happen?
Never ruin an apology with an excuse. It is a natural instinct to want to justify our own behaviour or find an excuse or somebody else to blame when we have done something wrong. Or at least I presume it’s natural because my children do it all the time. Every time they drive their scooter at top speed into the back of my foot or slam each others heads, fingers or toes in a door, their first reaction is always ‘it wasn’t my fault’ rather than ‘I’m really sorry, are you OK?’
Us adults, unfortunately, are often very similar. And yes, perhaps sometimes it might help the other person if they see there is a reason for the bad way we have treated them (hard time at work, suffering from depression, going through the change...) but perhaps it might be good to preface our excuse with something like ‘There really is no excuse for what I did but....”.
Never drink a Starbuck’s Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino Blended crème with whipped cream (if you’re trying to watch your weight). Drinks like this come in at a similar calorie count as a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder with Cheese - or worse. Few people have room in their diets for 510 calories blown on an afternoon cup of coffee.
Never send an angry email. It’s almost always a bad idea and people often read things differently to how you meant them. At least wait until you’ve calmed down. Better still, pick up the phone or go and talk to them.
Never talk politics or religion with a new friend or work colleague. I don’t know if you should ‘never’ do this but it is risky. I know this happened with my husband and I once when we went to dinner with some new friends. There was certainly something we said that offended them because we were never asked back again!
3 things you should never to say to a single friend: It happens when you’re not looking… There are plenty of fish in the sea… So, why are you single? All three are really annoying and even upsetting.
4 things you should never forget to take on holiday: Drivers licence if you’re getting a hire car (I did that two years ago and it was SUCH A BIG MISTAKE)… A photocopy of your passport in case it’s stolen… A light raincoat in case it rains… Telephone numbers for your bank and credit card company’s lost/stolen card department.
Never forget, each and every morning, to remind yourself to be nicer to other people. I’m not saying that you’re not nice already. But most of us could shower other people with a few more pearls of our kindness and niceness and concern and consideration and even love and praise and appreciation than we do right now.
Never stop stimulating your brain. This one comes from Ray Collins’ The Good Life Letter where he quoted the work of Dr Valentina Garibotta from San Raffaele University in Milan whose studies have shown how tissue damage leads more quickly to memory loss in the ‘less intellectually stimulated.’ His team believe that by continually performing some sort of mentally demanding activity, you can create a buffer against the effects of Alzheimer’s, dementia and age related memory loss.
Never lend money unless you’re prepared to write it off. You have to assume that you may never get it back.
‘Never let’ em see you sweat’ as the saying goes. Although I think this can be more pleasantly translated as ‘Do everything you do with more grace and less moaning’.
There is a particularly nice old Italian word, sprezzatura, which basically means doing your craft without a lot of visible effort. The word is said to originate from Baldassare Castiglione’s The Book of the Courtier where it is defined by the author as “a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.”
Do what you do with a smile. With grace. With a light air of competence and enjoyment. And don’t be a moaner…
Also remember that a lot of appearing confident, charming and graceful is about an act. ‘Never let’ em see you sweat’, in fact, can be seen as the the secret of people who seem confident.
Even when you’re not feeling particularly good or confident or happy about what you’re doing, a bit of positive body language can go a long way. Hold your body in such a way as to show that you are in charge, in control, confident, at ease and unflappable. Stand up straight and hold your head strong. No slouching or fidgeting. And practice that perfect, confident smile!
Never forget all the many great times and experiences you’ve had so far. And never forget that there are so many more to come.
Never give up. Don’t stop until you’ve accomplished your dreams - or died trying!
Never forget to listen to what other people have to say and to show respect to each person you meet.
Best wishes
