Posted on 17 Nov, 2010 -
The Obama Effect and why it DOES pay to think of the negative
Why the Americans might just be onto something
Hang positive thinking for a minute and take some time to examine the negative
Why hate and anger can sometimes be GOOD for you
Dear Reader,
Of all the things that make these days of recession different from the boom years before, one of the most significant, perhaps, is our turning towards the negative.
We have negative interest rates. Negative growth rates. And negative outlooks.
We vote to get rid of the parties we don’t want rather than vote for the ones we do. Even the American mantra about ‘positive thinking’ has now been held up for ridicule. And there’s an atmosphere of reflective criticism and a deep questioning of values that I think is a good thing.
Not, of course, that I’m suddenly jumping out of the ‘positive thinking’ camp and cosying up with the bah humbugs. There is still plenty of room for focusing on the positive, believing in ones abilities and nurturing the good things in life. As individuals, and as a society, however, we do also need to focus some of our attention on the negative.
When the power of hate can be a very positive force
As I think I’ve mentioned before, there are now as many problems caused by young people having too much confidence in their own abilities and what they ‘deserve’ to get out of life - as there are problems caused by low self-esteem.
It is time, perhaps, to face up to the weaknesses in own characters and to concentrate on growth from that angle. Time to think about what’s wrong in our society and work to change it.
Just as the American people have recently told President Obama that they don’t like what he’s been doing, perhaps it is time for us to raise our own voices about the things we believe detract from life.
In fact, I have gone back through my emails to dig out one I received from a reader called Angela many months ago about how our passions can sometimes be summed up more by what we hate than by what we love. By realising what we hate we can be motivated to change things.
One brilliant example she gives is of the great politician and philanthropist William Wilberforce who lead the movement to abolish the slave trade while most people around him could see no wrong in it.
But what exactly can you DO about it?
So what exactly DO we think needs changing or has room for improvement?
Instead of all that unnecessary stress that causes the hormone imbalance we talked about last week.. maybe we should engage in enough positive concern to actually do something about CHANGING things.
As Winston Churchill once said, “Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.”
So what can we do?
Let yourself get really angry! At the moment, for example, I’ve been allowing myself to become extravagantly angry about Christmas coming so upsettingly early. They say it’s because the retailers are desperate to bring in more cash. But why did the Post Office make me use a Christmas stamp on a birthday card - and why is the local Church having its Christmas bizarre in NOVEMBER?!? Suppressed anger can be a major cause of illness and pain so express what you feel cross about. You don’t just have to put up with things!
Get cross. Take action
Realise that you CAN be the change. You CAN be a person who makes a difference. The website http://www.petitiononline.com provides free online provision of public petitions. Also remember that the government is not supposed to be some ill-doing force that we are at the mercy of; our politicians are supposed to be our SERVANTS. Get writing to your MP!
Every small act helps. This is rather an odd example I know but there has been a lot of outrage recently in our area over the horrendous state in which certain dog owners have left the alleyway where hundreds of school kids walk to school every day. Today, however, we were lifted to see that some clever person had come along with a piece of chalk and drawn around all the dog pooh to help small children avoid getting it on their shoes.
Ask yourself what you ‘hate’ about your own life. You do, however, need to tread carefully with this one. Why? Because thinking that we ‘hate’ something can sometimes become a lazy or negative habit that diminishes our lives when it really doesn’t need to. If you say that you ‘hate’ your job, your spouse or your daily life for example, examine the reasons why. Ask yourself whether your reasons are justified. Is it your hate you need to question - or is this hate valid enough that you should do something about changing what you hate?
Think about the negative. As I said earlier, focusing on the positive aspects of your life and of each day is always a reliable recipe for making yourself feel happier. It is also a good idea, though, to spend some time thinking about what things in your life depress you, stress you, or bring your mood down. You can often find that there are little aspects of your life that bring your mood down but yet are relatively easy to fix. Something as simple as getting our hair cut, buying some new socks or setting the alarm clock fifteen minutes earlier in the morning can have a big effect.
Bring about a whole new phase in your life by making big changes. Most of us are aware of certain traits in our own personality that detract from our own happiness or peace of mind - but we are equally aware of how difficult it is to change this. It is often the case, in fact, that the very personality traits that have lead us to succeed or cope as well as we have in life can often cause us trouble in other areas. Being a perfectionist, being driven or being introverted are just a couple of examples.
Indeed, it is exactly the fact that our weaknesses are often the underside of our coping mechanism, strengths or forms of self-protection that can make it so difficult for us to bring about change.
But there is a method you can use to override this effect and bring about the change you need.
Interested? Then tune in next week for a full article on ‘immunity to change’, bringing about change and unlocking your full potential based on the brilliant book, ‘Immunity to Change’ by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey.
In the meantime, it would be useful if you could think about something about yourself you’d like to change so we can actually try out some techniques and put the theory into practice next week.
