Posted on 15 Apr, 2010 -
The TRUTH about your Procrastination Hatits
The 4 keys to understanding your own procrastination habits - and quite probably unlocking the secrets of your heart as well…
9 insights and techniques to help you overcome the habit and get those important things done
Very interestingly, ‘procrastination’ was one of the problems that came up most often in all the great emails you all sent me. It’s one of those odd habits of human nature that we seem very able to recognise - yet surprisingly unable to do anything about.
“Procrastination” said the poet Edward Young, “is the thief of time.”
I also believe it can be the thief of LIFE.
My own personal brand of procrastination, for example, generally involves the excuse that I don’t have the time to do X,Y or Z. Yet very often, the jobs that sit around for months not being done are not only diminishing the quality of the time I spend around them trying to ignore their presence… they also wouldn’t actually take that much time to do either.
As with most cases of procrastination, in fact:
a) My excuses for not doing the things are not very good ones.
b) It would improve my life if I did these things.
c) It’s almost a mystery why I just can’t get round to doing these things. (I’m too busy to even think about when I can fit them in it seems!)
So what, I wonder, are YOUR personal habits of procrastination?
All of us, of course, have different habits of procrastination - and different reasons for them.
One person, for example, may find that almost the sole thing they procrastinate about is making phone calls. For another person, procrastination may take hold of all the most important areas of their life to the extent that it actually becomes a poison that stunts both their personal growth and their ability to succeed in life.
The important thing to remember is that whatever kind of procrastination you’re suffering from, it IS solvable. The solution may indeed be as easy as applying a very simple trick - or it could actually involve getting deep down into the earliest foundations of your psychological makeup.
So what are the tricks you can use? Luckily there are many. In fact, I have put together below a list of XX useful insights and methods you can use - some taken from my book, Change Your Life in Just One Minute http://www.justoneminute.co.uk, and several new ones added.
One of them, hopefully, should help!
1. It could just be a simple case of finding the task unpleasant…
First of all there is what the experts call simple task-related procrastination’. This could include not wanting to do the washing up, for example, never getting round to switching your telephone provider or disliking certain elements of your work which you feel are too mundane, meaningless or boring.
One solution to this kind of procrastination is to try and give yourself daily reminders of the positive consequences of performing these tasks. Another is to actually give yourself little rewards for pushing yourself to do the jobs you quite simply don’t want to do. It is often the lack of perceived reward in a job that stops us from wanting to do it so reminding ourselves of - or actually offering ourselves - a reward can be a surprisingly simple but effective solution.
2. Or is there something a bit more complex and psychological going on here?
Also looking at specific task-related procrastination, there is another simple question you might need to ask yourself: Are there any psychological reasons why I just never seem to want to get down to this particular kind of task? You might realise, for example, that you are simply rebelling against a task that a parent made you do as a child which you resented. Or it could help you highlight an area of your life where you feel particularly stuck, have a particular problem or can’t see your way clearly through.
3. Taking a look at our psychological belief systems
We all have some general, deep-seated beliefs about life that inform the way we believe that life is or should be and these can often be at the bottom of our personal habits of procrastination. While these beliefs can often have some very positive sides to them, there are often also ways in which they can prevent us from wanting to get down to things.
Here are a few of those beliefs:
Do any of these character types sound like you?
Some people, for example, have the belief that life should always be easy and pleasant so they actually have an enormous problem getting down to jobs that are difficult.
Other people have acquired the belief in life that they are not very clever, talented or lucky. Perhaps this was something they were told as a child or have been made to feel as an adult. Either way, this kind of belief will certainly stop us from even trying to do things if we believe we are not good enough to be able to do them - or fortunate enough in life to gain this advantage or achievement.
Perfectionism is another condition that affects some people and can even border on the obsessive compulsive. While most of us realise that nobody in life actually gets anywhere near achieving perfection in anything, there are some who believe that perfection is not only possible but necessary. It’s very hard to start any project if you’re haunted by this kind of belief.
Another kind of belief that can put serious dampeners on all areas of a persons life is the desire for certainty. The desire to play it safe. You’ll know if you’re this kind of person if you feel the need to ask dozens of questions about a task or enterprise before you’re prepared to even engage with it - and then still feel nervous about what will happen or what’s expected of you. But you’ll spend your whole life preparing for life instead of just taking a plunge at it.
4. The key to your procrastination could actually lie in your childhood. If we don’t do it (or don’t do it properly), at least we can’t be judged by what we do or fail...
In her book The Tomorrow Trap, psychologist Karen E. Peterson says:
“Regardless of our level of procrastination, it’s much easier to be ashamed about being late than it is to feel ashamed about finishing the task or making the decision, only to be told we’ve performed poorly. In this way, procrastination actually protects us from tapping into this pool of deeper feelings wed just as soon avoid.”
On one level I think we can all be guilty of this to an extent. If I throw myself into a task with complete gusto and devote as much time to it as it needs, for example, then I wont have any excuse for the imperfection of my achievement.
On another level, however, Ms Peterson believes that the cause of this kind of procrastination is a deep feeling of “shame” that many of us carry within us and which is preventing us from living our lives to the full - and reaching our own full potential and happiness. “We must learn,” she says, “how to conquer this lack of motivation in order to avoid a diminished sense of spirituality in our lives”.
5. Exploring a little deeper inside ourselves
The answer, she says, is to explore our procrastination in order to uncover the sources of our own personal inner ‘shame (or, as I sometimes prefer to call it, ‘personal unloveableness’ or plain lack of self confidence). Only when we have realised what these sources are can we actually take charge of our lives, live without shame and stop living in fear of the shadows of others.
Factors and events that can be identified as childhood triggers for shame include:
“Perceived or real physical imperfections” - such as having to wear glasses or feeling unhappy with your body.
“Disruptions in normal parenting” - which includes parents not being able to give you full attention as an infant because of such things as their own personal problems or the arrival of a second child.
“Childhood neglect” or “Childhood abuse”.
“Flaws in normal parenting” - e.g. being called the black sheep of the family or growing up in a family that believed the world was against them.
Only by understanding the source of our shame or unloveableness as a child can we decide to move beyond it as an adult.
6. Procrastination is a habit so treat it as one. Over the years, our procrastination becomes a habit that can become harder and harder to break. One key to overcoming procrastination, therefore, is to treat the behaviour as a habit with habit-changing techniques. To overcome or change habits, for example, it is important to recognise that the way you act has become a natural, automatic and pretty much unconscious response to certain circumstances. You will find it hard to break unless you explore how and when it occurs. Perhaps more important still, it is crucial when trying to break a habit that you find an alternative behaviour to replace the one you want to stop - instead of just trying to stop it.
Before you start, ask yourself what your new habit of behaviour might be in response to certain tasks that need doing - to replace the desire to procrastinate. Then, next time this kind of job arrives, you’ll be ready with a new way of dealing with it. This might, for example, involve telling yourself that you will sit down in front of the task until you take at least an initial step of action. It might mean getting a big piece of paper and writing the job in large letters on the wall. Or it might mean thinking up a reward for yourself for when you’ve got the job done. Whatever works best for you.
7. Use the very effective technique of starting the job just a tiny bit. Research shows that once we have started a job, the majority of us are very keen to get it finished. We are happy to avoid jobs that haven’t been started until the cows have come home and done their guitar practice. Once a jobs started, however, we long for the relief of getting it done and dusted.
8. Get in the right mood with a little NLP. A very useful method you can use from NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) involves getting yourself into a ‘resourceful state’ that will help you do a certain job. If you can pin yourself down for a few minutes to at least contemplate the job you’ve been avoiding, use the time first to get yourself in the right mood for the job. The best way to do this is to think back to a time of your life when you were in the right frame of mind for getting down to this kind of task more readily. Try to remember in as many details as possible exactly where you were and what you were doing… What you could see… and how you were feeling.
9. Get in the habit of setting dates for jobs. Personally I’m a big fan of To DO lists and most jobs on the list get done eventually. I would probably benefit, however, from putting dates or deadlines on my list. If a job comes up that you aren’t able to deal with straight away, decide when you will deal with it and keep that date with yourself. That just might help me do those jobs that seem to keep on reappearing month after month.
One final thing to note about procrastination before I leave you to get on with your day is that in many incidences one strong thing that is often going on is a fear of change. Even if we know that our lives could be better, there is still great comfort in the status quo and a sense of uncertainty surrounding any change.
It is hard to image what our life will be like if do succeed in carrying out this task so we shy away from taking the steps that would take us to this place we don’t yet know.
Will the future really be brighter or will we end up making a mistake? Sorting out a clear answer to that question could be a fundamental step in moving forward.
